A smartphone has to do more to earn its name


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Posted Online: Jan. 20, 2013, 6:04 pm
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By John Marx, jmarx@qconline.com
To the best of my knowledge:
- Maybe we should go back to the good ol' days and get a girlfriend we can see, touch and produce when people ask to see her.
-The late Stan Musial was the kindest, most humble and gracious superstar -- and he was a superstar -- I ever met. He was free with his time, honest with his answers and always thought it was neat people wanted to tell his story. He was my late father's favorite player and probably the reason my dad introduced me to being a St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan.
-It's impossible to act natural around the cops even if you haven't done anything wrong.
- It'd be great if the dollar store sold gas.
- There should be a fitness protection program.
- "Suits'' is easily television's best show.
- Someone somewhere decided it was mandatory to make school buses uncomfortable. I'd like a word or two with that chap.
-Sleep and a Jim's Rib Haven boney box dinner pretty much can solve everything. I used one of them to get over the flu recently, and it wasn't sleep.
- Working out can be done without telling us on Twitter.
- The biggest complainers are those who contribute the least amount to the cause.
- Medicine companies have no idea what real fruit tastes like.
-Andre Holland, of the NBC TV show "1600 Penn,'' is a great guy. Holland did lots of time in the Quad-Cities shooting the movie "Sugar'' and was impressive and wonderful to get to know. It's great to see one of Hollywood's good guys have success.
-Young people are our greatest resource for many things. Humor is one. Here's what I overheard at a recent high school basketball game. A teenage male was talking to a teenage female:
"Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.'' It even made me blush in between laughs.
-Rather than agreeing to disagree, some folks should just be quiet.
-I'll call it a smartphone the first time it reminds me where I left it and to put it on vibrate during church.
-The Pete Rose reality show is the best one on television. To that, it doesn't take much to pass Honey Boo Boo.
-You know you need a break when you fall asleep in the middle of putting on your socks. You put one on and wake up 30 minutes later to put on the second.
-I read that in 75 percent of American households women handle the money and pay the bills. Thank goodness it's 100 percent at my house.
-Any group of retired morning coffee drinkers would be a better Cabinet than anything the president could choose. They solve all our nation's problems in just three hours per day.
-Having the pharmacist suggest you go shop while they take the time filling your prescription is as annoying as straight-to-your-face up-sell.
-Pitchers and catchers report in three weeks. Life is good.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or jmarx@qconline.com.


















 



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