A smartphone has to do more to earn its name


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Posted Online: Jan. 20, 2013, 6:04 pm
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By John Marx, jmarx@qconline.com
To the best of my knowledge:
- Maybe we should go back to the good ol' days and get a girlfriend we can see, touch and produce when people ask to see her.
-The late Stan Musial was the kindest, most humble and gracious superstar -- and he was a superstar -- I ever met. He was free with his time, honest with his answers and always thought it was neat people wanted to tell his story. He was my late father's favorite player and probably the reason my dad introduced me to being a St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan.
-It's impossible to act natural around the cops even if you haven't done anything wrong.
- It'd be great if the dollar store sold gas.
- There should be a fitness protection program.
- "Suits'' is easily television's best show.
- Someone somewhere decided it was mandatory to make school buses uncomfortable. I'd like a word or two with that chap.
-Sleep and a Jim's Rib Haven boney box dinner pretty much can solve everything. I used one of them to get over the flu recently, and it wasn't sleep.
- Working out can be done without telling us on Twitter.
- The biggest complainers are those who contribute the least amount to the cause.
- Medicine companies have no idea what real fruit tastes like.
-Andre Holland, of the NBC TV show "1600 Penn,'' is a great guy. Holland did lots of time in the Quad-Cities shooting the movie "Sugar'' and was impressive and wonderful to get to know. It's great to see one of Hollywood's good guys have success.
-Young people are our greatest resource for many things. Humor is one. Here's what I overheard at a recent high school basketball game. A teenage male was talking to a teenage female:
"Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.'' It even made me blush in between laughs.
-Rather than agreeing to disagree, some folks should just be quiet.
-I'll call it a smartphone the first time it reminds me where I left it and to put it on vibrate during church.
-The Pete Rose reality show is the best one on television. To that, it doesn't take much to pass Honey Boo Boo.
-You know you need a break when you fall asleep in the middle of putting on your socks. You put one on and wake up 30 minutes later to put on the second.
-I read that in 75 percent of American households women handle the money and pay the bills. Thank goodness it's 100 percent at my house.
-Any group of retired morning coffee drinkers would be a better Cabinet than anything the president could choose. They solve all our nation's problems in just three hours per day.
-Having the pharmacist suggest you go shop while they take the time filling your prescription is as annoying as straight-to-your-face up-sell.
-Pitchers and catchers report in three weeks. Life is good.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or jmarx@qconline.com.
















 



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  Today is Saturday, April 19, the 109th day of 2014. There are 256 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Miss McCorkindale has opened millinery rooms over Gimbel's dry goods store, where she offers a choice lot of millinery goods, which she will manufacture to order.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The little South Park Presbyterian chapel celebrated it first Easter decorated with flowers for an afternoon worship service attended by a large congregation.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Wennerberg Chorus of Augustana College has returned from a 2,000-mile tour in the Eastern states and Illinois.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Col. Charles Lindbergh has stated that he is convinced that Germany's air force is equal to the combined sky fleets of her potential European foes.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Small gas motors may be permitted on boats in the lake to be built in Loud Thunder Forest Preserve. The prospect was discussed yesterday at a meeting of the Rock Island County Forest Preserve Commission.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The annual Dispatch/Rock Island Argus Spelling Bee continues to be a family tradition. Ed Lee, an eighth-grader at John Deere Junior High School, Moline, is the 1989 spelling bee champion from among 49 top spellers in Rock Island, Henry and Mercer counties. He advances to the competition in Washington, D.C. Runnerup was Ed's sister, Susan.






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