Gasp! It snows during Midwest winter


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Posted Online: Feb. 21, 2013, 6:20 pm
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By John Marx, jmarx@qconline.com
To the best of my knowledge:

** It snowed. It's the Midwest. It's Friday. We have moved on despite being trampled with Armageddon-like nonsense from television stations the last 24 hours.

** Mirrors don't lie. And thank goodness they don't laugh.

** If the sermon's going to be 20 minutes and you don't want me looking at the inside of my eyelids, then it had better make sense.

** Silence is the best answer to a stupid question. Why make it worse?

** It's a pretty boring sports winter if you spend two weeks making a fuss over Michael Jordan's 50th birthday.

** Miss Vickies sea salt and vinegar potato chips are the greatest chips on the planet.

** Never allow friends to bust out their wedding videos, especially if they got married when the macarena was popular.

** Social networking in my day was called playing outside, brought on by your mother telling you to get out of her house.

** One's level of maturity depends greatly on the company we keep. Look around; makes sense, doesn't it?

** I'm four boxes in and the Girl Scout "thin'' mints aren't working.

** No matter what color is on the outside, it's still chocolate on the inside of an M&M, right? And the colors are just for show?

** You don't join in if someone else is singing a song, especially if it's a guy.

** A restaurant that holds your evening reservation for 15 minutes on a Friday or Saturday is DOING YOU A FAVOR. Be there on time or don't make the reservation.

** Lance Armstrong is going as a seven-time Tour de France winner next Halloween (shared with me by a local coffee group/world-problem-solving organization).

** A night with the Quad City Mallards is a good time. Here's hoping the club can find solid footing and stay for a while.

** Everyone loves a good political joke until it gets elected (from the coffee group/world problem-solving organization) .

** I'd rather have a text telling me the voice mail someone left was worth listening to.

** All the meteor thing confirmed was that nothing is pretty about Russia.

** The rumor that the Pope is using retirement talk so he can negotiate a bigger and better contract is not true (told to me as I'm walking into church last Saturday).

** It is downright insane to rush the field or the floor after your team wins the game. Every college should be fined $100,000 each time it happens. Take a page from the Moline High School staff on how to handle basketball games before, during and after.

** There's someone out there stuck in traffic on their way to a gym to ride a stationary bike.

** Someone needs to make an app to remind you each time your wife gets a haircut.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or jmarx@qconline.com.
















 




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  Today is Monday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2014. There are 121 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: We are informed by J.H. Hull that the reason the street sprinkler was not at work yesterday settling the dust on the streets, was because one of his horses was injured.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Bonnie McGregor, a fleet-footed stallion owned by S.W. Wheelock of this community, covered himself with glory at Lexington, Ky, when he ran a mile in 2:13 1/2. The horse's value was estimated as at least $50,000.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Troops are pouring into Paris to prepare for defense of the city. The German army is reported to be only 60 miles from the capital of France.
1939 -- 75 years ago: The German army has invaded Poland in undeclared warfare. Poland has appealed to Great Britain and France for aid.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Publication of a plant newspaper, the Farmall Works News, has been launched at the Rock Island IHC factory and replaces a managerial newsletter.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Officials predict Monday's Rock Island Labor Parade will be the biggest and best ever. Last minute work continues on floats and costumes for the parade, which steps off a 9:30 a.m.




(More History)