Thoughts on snow from a guy who's now enjoying white sand


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Posted Online: Feb. 28, 2013, 6:50 pm
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By John Marx, jmarx@qconline.com
To the best of my knowledge:

— Not all city snow removal is created equal. A couple of local outposts apparently believe that if God put it there, God will take it away.

— No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

— There are three levels of pain. 1. Pain. 2. Pain so bad you ask for your mother. 3. Pain of stepping on a Lego or stubbing your toe on an Isabel Bloom statue in the middle of the night.

— Cities — are you listening, Davenport? — should stay out of the gambling business.

— It's not being lazy, it's being selective in one's participation.

— If they made it illegal to drive in the passing lane and not pass, 97 percent of the state of Iowa would be under arrest.

— Sixty-five should be the new 50 for those of us who like the boss we work for.

— Cordova has become the drama capital of the world. Apparently I'm the only one who has always had a good time in C-town.

— Six inches is NOT a lot of snow.

— The girl who got away is better than one who won't go away (shared with me by a local problem-solving, coffee-drinking group).

— The Flu Season Fist-Bump is a perfect winter replacement for the handshake.

— Florida in the 60s is better than home in the 20s. As you read this, I am up to my ears in white sand, spring training and Wolfgang Puck sesame chicken.

— Not even millions made and a couple of Oscars can buy Ben Affleck a good hairpiece.

— There's not much better than responding to a three-page, drawn-out, detailed-oriented text with a "K."

— You can build all the Titanics you want. Last time I looked, they still made icebergs.

— Standing next to a plowed snowdrift in a Galesburg parking lot will not make a weather-related TV report look any more dramatic. We know it snowed.

— You are more likely to die on the way to buying a lottery ticket than you are to win the lottery. You also have a great chance of being behind the dude who wants two dozen Powerball combinations when all you want to purchase is a soda.

— Just because I don't like the "Twilight" saga doesn't mean I don't get it. I get it; I just don't like it.

— We don't like or trust North Korea, so we send them Dennis Rodman? I hope the entire country thinks we all are just like him.

— Big-box shops have a place in our world, but there MUST be a place for the independent who knows his or her customers by name.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or jmarx@qconline.com.
















 



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  Today is Wednesday, Aug. 20, the 232nd day of 2014. There are 133 days left in the year.
1864 -- 150 years ago: Quite a number of Negroes have lately been brought here by abolition offers returning from the army in violation of the laws of the state.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Miss Tillie Denkmann, of Rock Island, was making plans to accompany a Davenport family on a tour of Europe.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The German advance into Belgium was going apparently without serious check. The American ambassador at Berlin published a denial of the charge that Americans had been ill-treated in Germany.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Seventy-two members of Rock Island High School's 1939 graduating class are preparing to enter college — 34 of them at Augustana.
1964 -- 50 years ago: One of the oldest buildings in Milan, which for a number of years has housed the Milan Hotel, will be razed to make way for a modern, two-story office structure.
1989 -- 25 years ago: Some are blaming it on the sudden influx of insects and the extreme humidity. Still others say the invasion was inspired by a recent movie. But whatever the reason, the Quad-Cities is swarming with bats.




(More History)