Thoughts on snow from a guy who's now enjoying white sand


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Posted Online: Feb. 28, 2013, 6:50 pm
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By John Marx, jmarx@qconline.com
To the best of my knowledge:

— Not all city snow removal is created equal. A couple of local outposts apparently believe that if God put it there, God will take it away.

— No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

— There are three levels of pain. 1. Pain. 2. Pain so bad you ask for your mother. 3. Pain of stepping on a Lego or stubbing your toe on an Isabel Bloom statue in the middle of the night.

— Cities — are you listening, Davenport? — should stay out of the gambling business.

— It's not being lazy, it's being selective in one's participation.

— If they made it illegal to drive in the passing lane and not pass, 97 percent of the state of Iowa would be under arrest.

— Sixty-five should be the new 50 for those of us who like the boss we work for.

— Cordova has become the drama capital of the world. Apparently I'm the only one who has always had a good time in C-town.

— Six inches is NOT a lot of snow.

— The girl who got away is better than one who won't go away (shared with me by a local problem-solving, coffee-drinking group).

— The Flu Season Fist-Bump is a perfect winter replacement for the handshake.

— Florida in the 60s is better than home in the 20s. As you read this, I am up to my ears in white sand, spring training and Wolfgang Puck sesame chicken.

— Not even millions made and a couple of Oscars can buy Ben Affleck a good hairpiece.

— There's not much better than responding to a three-page, drawn-out, detailed-oriented text with a "K."

— You can build all the Titanics you want. Last time I looked, they still made icebergs.

— Standing next to a plowed snowdrift in a Galesburg parking lot will not make a weather-related TV report look any more dramatic. We know it snowed.

— You are more likely to die on the way to buying a lottery ticket than you are to win the lottery. You also have a great chance of being behind the dude who wants two dozen Powerball combinations when all you want to purchase is a soda.

— Just because I don't like the "Twilight" saga doesn't mean I don't get it. I get it; I just don't like it.

— We don't like or trust North Korea, so we send them Dennis Rodman? I hope the entire country thinks we all are just like him.

— Big-box shops have a place in our world, but there MUST be a place for the independent who knows his or her customers by name.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or jmarx@qconline.com.
















 



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  Today is Saturday, April 19, the 109th day of 2014. There are 256 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Miss McCorkindale has opened millinery rooms over Gimbel's dry goods store, where she offers a choice lot of millinery goods, which she will manufacture to order.
1889 -- 125 years ago: The little South Park Presbyterian chapel celebrated it first Easter decorated with flowers for an afternoon worship service attended by a large congregation.
1914 -- 100 years ago: The Wennerberg Chorus of Augustana College has returned from a 2,000-mile tour in the Eastern states and Illinois.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Col. Charles Lindbergh has stated that he is convinced that Germany's air force is equal to the combined sky fleets of her potential European foes.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Small gas motors may be permitted on boats in the lake to be built in Loud Thunder Forest Preserve. The prospect was discussed yesterday at a meeting of the Rock Island County Forest Preserve Commission.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The annual Dispatch/Rock Island Argus Spelling Bee continues to be a family tradition. Ed Lee, an eighth-grader at John Deere Junior High School, Moline, is the 1989 spelling bee champion from among 49 top spellers in Rock Island, Henry and Mercer counties. He advances to the competition in Washington, D.C. Runnerup was Ed's sister, Susan.






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