Movie mini-reviews for Apr. 12, 2013


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Posted Online: April 11, 2013, 1:08 pm
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New in theaters

Regal 14 Stadium Cinemas, Moline:

-- "42" (PG-13)
-- "Scary Movie 5" (PG-13)

Rave Motion Pictures, Davenport:
-- "42" (PG-13)
-- "Scary Movie 5" (PG-13)

Nova 6 Cinemas, Moline:
-- "The Incredible Burt Wonderstone" (PG-13)

Aledo Opera House:
-- "Identity Thief" (R)

Central Theater, Geneseo:
-- "Safe Haven" (PG-13)


Mini-reviews

These are mini-reviews of some of the movies currently playing in the Quad-Cities area: "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" (PG-13, 110 min.). To say "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" is a video game for the big screen is to insult a number of video games that are far more creative, challenging and better-looking. The first installment of this series, "The Rise of Cobra" (2009), at least had a sense of its own absurdity, but the sequel is a heavy-handed, explosion-riddled, ear-piercing disaster with an insanely stupid plot and an endless stream of mostly generic fight sequences that straddle the PG-13 line. Rating: One and a half stars -- Richard Roeper.
"Evil Dead" (R, 91 min.). Not a strict remake of Sam Raimi's hugely influential 1981 horror classic, but it does include the basic framework and some visual nods to the original. On its own, it's an irredeemable, sadistic torture chamber reveling in the bloody, cringe-inducing deaths of some of the stupidest people ever to spend a rainy night in a remote cabin in the woods. I love horror films that truly shock, scare and provoke. But after 30 years of this stuff, I'm bored to death and sick to death of movies that seem to have one goal: How can we gross out the audience by torturing nearly every major character in the movie? Rating: One star -- Richard Roeper.

"The Host" (PG-13, 125 min.). Based on a new novel by Stephenie Meyer, author of the "Twilight" saga, "The Host" is about a time in the not-distant future when human minds have been colonized by an alien race called "Souls." Saoirse Ronan stars as a human whose original mind has somehow survived and co-occupies the space with a Soul mind; their conversations can be intriguing ("No, Melanie! Wrong! No! He's from another planet!"). Rating: Two and a half stars -- Roger Ebert.
"Admission" (PG-13, 117 min.). In this disappointingly flat comedy, Portia Nathan (Tina Fey), a Princeton admissions counselor, runs into her past. No doubt there's a film to be made about the intense pressure to get into a top-tier college, but that seems more like dramatic fodder than the launching point for a great comedy. Then there's a problem with Portia, who's basically likable and then not so likable, and then we're asked to be happy for her at the end, but she hasn't given us enough good reason. If there were an admissions test, we'd send Portia packing. Rating: Two stars --Richard Roeper.
"Spring Breakers" (R, 94 min.). Harmony Korine's homage to the annual spring experience is like a pervier cousin of "Girls Gone Wild." On other occasions, though, you feel as if you're experiencing raw, mad, avant-garde genius at work. The film challenges us to think about the hedonistic hell of that annual ritual, as it segues from party film to insane crime story. It's self-indulgent, it's funny, it's dark and it's always provocative. Rating: Three and a half stars -- Richard Roeper.
"The Incredible Burt Wonderstone" (PG-13, 100 min.). This absurdist, magic-themed buddy movie is a Will Ferrell sports comedy without Will Ferrell and without the sports. In plot and tone, it's two parts lunatic comedy and one part shameless sentimentality with a dash of romance thrown in. A movie satirizing magicians -- even rock 'n' roll hipster magicians -- is only slightly more cutting edge than a movie mocking mimes. But this is also one dark and wickedly funny comedy, with a great return to form by Jim Carrey opposite Steve Carell in the title role. Rating: Three stars -- Richard Roeper.

"The Call" (R, 94 min.). The semi-fresh thriller, set mainly in an emergency call center and on the freeways of Los Angeles, puts a tech slant on a damsel-in-distress setup. It buzzes along for a while, the promising plot innovations inviting suspension of disbelief, before by-the-numbers implausibility, over-the-top valor and unsavory contrivances take over and the line goes dead. Rating: Two stars --Los Angeles Times.

"The Croods" (PG, 92 min.).If "The Croods" is an example of what's supposed to be prehistoric comedy, then the genre should be allowed to become extinct. There's the potential for humor, but it never develops beyond a few sight gags that will entertain the pre-school crowd. Rating: One and a half stars -- Rick Bentley. "Oz the Great and Powerful" (PG, 130 min.). Like "The Phantom Menace" trilogy, "Oz the Great and Powerful" precedes a beloved classic on the fictional timeline, but makes full use of modern-day technology, which means everything's grander and more spectacular. Director Sam Raimi and his army of special-effects wizards have created a visually stunning film that makes good use of 3-D, at least in the first hour or so. The film finally breaks free of its beautiful but artificial trappings and becomes a story with heart in the final act. Thing is, we know Oz and its denizens are destined for a far greater adventure a little ways down the Yellow Brick Road. Rating: Two and a half stars -- Richard Roeper
"21 & Over" (R, 93 min.). A formulaic comedy that strains to be a "Hangover" for the college set. Written and directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore ("The Hangover"), "21 & Over" knows what it wants to be and (to its credit) never pulls its punches, whether it's gross-out humor or ethnic/gender insensitivity. This is one of those 93-minute movies that seem about 88 minutes too long. Rating: One and a half stars -- Richard Roeper

"Olympus Has Fallen" (R, 89 min.)Director Antoine Fuqua is at the reins, and while he isn't a terrible action director — "Shooter" and "Training Day" easily entertain — he gives in to terrible instincts here, flirting with overwrought patriotism, one too many laugh lines amid numerous characters being shot in the head, and a general chaos-inspired editing technique all too rampant in today's action cinema. Rating: one and a half stars -- Los Angeles Times "Escape From Planet Earth" (PG, 89 min.).Ananimated adventure that's more down-to-earth than earth-shattering — builds a family-friendly sci-fi constellation out of fresh chuckles and recycled parts, a number of them from Planet Pixar.Feel-good but not cloying, zippy but not frenetic, and refreshingly free of snark, the default setting for a lot of kids' fare these days, the feature takes a pleasingly retro-futuristic stance on matters of décor and attitude. Rating: Three stars. -- Los Angeles Times "A Good Day to Die Hard" (R, 97 min.). The latest installment of the action franchise plays as if we're watching Bruce Willis in a Bruce Willis movie in which Bruce Willis can survive anything while taking out the villains, video-game style. A quarter-century after the first "Die Hard," the venerable John McClane has been stripped of any real traces of an actual three-dimensional character. Rating: One and a half stars -- Richard Roeper "Identity Thief" (R, 112 min.). The pairing of Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy in a road trip comedy seems inspired. They're two unique comedic talents who always put an interesting spin on a line or a double take, whether starring in sitcoms or effortlessly swiping scenes in big-screen fare. Unfortunately, "Identity Thief" is a depressingly predictable road-trip buddy comedy that's far more interested in car chases, lame shootouts, physical shtick and cheap schmaltz than creating anything original. Rating: Two stars.-- Richard Roeper






 












 



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  Today is Thursday, Aug. 21, the 233rd day of 2014. There are 132 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: Sheriff McLaughlin had the misfortune to dislocate his right shoulder some days ago when his carriage upset. He is now able to walk about but has a very sore shoulder.
1889 -- 125 years ago: A kindergarten was started in the downtown district of Rock Island with the Misses Dodie Hawes and Grace Knowlton as teachers.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Pope Pius X died in Rome.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Rock Island's new theater was named Esquire.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The J.I. Case Co. plant in Bettendorf will add from 150 to 200 employees by Jan. 1 a spokesman for the company said today. The Bettendorf Works today had a payroll of 1,350, but an increased production schedule will require additional people.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Illowa Council Boy Scouts of America reached and passed its campaign goal in a drive that began 14 months ago by raising more than $2.2 million for the expansion of Loud Thunder Reservation near Andalusia.






(More History)