Of string theory and spying


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Posted Online: June 11, 2013, 6:45 pm
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By John Marx, jmarx@qconline.com
To the best of my knowledge:

-- You can't be late until you show up.

-- I'm not worth spying on, Mr. President.

-- The safe money is on former NFL star Keyshawn Johnson if he and his annoying neighbor, Justin Bieber, scrap. I know about 2,987,222 others who would love to see Bieber put in his place. The kid's out of control.

-- I will never master the use of chopsticks and will forever marvel at those who have.

-- Some of us still jump when the toaster pops.

-- Restaurant soup has replaced fountain soda as the greatest rip-off in the history of the world. False bottom, a ladle of liquid, and you are out the cost of a gallon of gas plus a dollar.

-- I spend way too much time waiting to see if the dead body in the movie or TV show moves.

-- The ice in the cup always attacks my face when I am in a restaurant. And my shirt always loses.

-- String theory is complicated; relationships are not.

-- If I had a British accent, I'd love listening to myself talk. Seriously, how cool would that be?

-- Being lazy walks in my family.

-- After 40 years, Campbell's bean with bacon soup still rocks.

-- "Your table will be ready in just a minute'' is one of life's larger false statements.

-- Ten percent off is not a discount. It's not even a decent hook to get you in the door of a business.

-- Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone else who doesn't have it. I just wish I had it.

-- My body is more a ruin than a temple.

-- KWQC-TV, Channel 6, has a new owner. Young Broadcasting (KWQC's old parent company), merged with MediaGeneral. The station is on solid footing.

-- WQAD-TV, Channel 8, is for sale. Local TV LLC -- WQAD's parent company -- recently announced it is for sale. There is no cause for alarm. WQAD is an outstanding station with loads of talent. A sale means nothing other than political season is over and the company doing the selling made a bundle of cash.

-- INN, the Davenport company that provided the original Fox 18 news, was purchased by a similar company out of Orlando, Fla., a few months back. Soon, everything will be based out of Orlando and not Davenport.

-- Rock Island's Bud Benner, the 94-year-old skydiving phenom, recently flew an ultralight aircraft. It was the Challenger II, provided by a generous Ted Wink. Benner had the plane's controls for a few minutes and loved it. Classy move by Wink and friends.

-- The fourth floor/south nurses at UnityPoint's Rock Island campus are saints. Wonderful, patient, caring people, who get that there is more than medicine involved with their job.




Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or jmarx@qconline.com.
















 



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  Today is Monday, April 21, the 111th day of 2014. There are 254 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: The female sex seems to have gone crazy on the subject of dry goods. When high prices keep them from increasing their wardrobes, they turn to stealing. Yard goods, hats, shoes and other items are being picked up and carried home.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Members of Everts Commandery No. 18, Knights Templar, under Commander H.C. Cleaveland, marched from the Masonic Temple to Trinity Episcopal Church for their annual Easter services.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Nate Hultgren pitched the Augustana College baseball team to a 10-3 victory over Carthage, striking out 11 men and allowing only four hits.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Marvel Leonhardi, a Rock Island High School senior, was the winner of an essay contest on advertising sponsored by The Argus and Advertising Age, a national advertising publication.
1964 -- 50 years ago: The Augustana College band drew a crowd of 1,200 people for its annual home concert in Centennial Hall. The size of the crowd was indicative of the fact the band is rapidly approaching the stature of the Augustana Choir.
1989 -- 25 years ago: A benefit to raise money for extracurricular activities in the Rock Island Milan School District will be April 27 at the Quad City Downs harness race track. People buying $17.50 tickets to the second annual "Night at the Quad City Downs" will be entitled to an evening of harness racing and dinner.






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