To the best of my knowledge:|
-- You can't be late until you show up.
-- I'm not worth spying on, Mr. President.
-- The safe money is on former NFL star Keyshawn Johnson if he and his annoying neighbor, Justin Bieber, scrap. I know about 2,987,222 others who would love to see Bieber put in his place. The kid's out of control.
-- I will never master the use of chopsticks and will forever marvel at those who have.
-- Some of us still jump when the toaster pops.
-- Restaurant soup has replaced fountain soda as the greatest rip-off in the history of the world. False bottom, a ladle of liquid, and you are out the cost of a gallon of gas plus a dollar.
-- I spend way too much time waiting to see if the dead body in the movie or TV show moves.
-- The ice in the cup always attacks my face when I am in a restaurant. And my shirt always loses.
-- String theory is complicated; relationships are not.
-- If I had a British accent, I'd love listening to myself talk. Seriously, how cool would that be?
-- Being lazy walks in my family.
-- After 40 years, Campbell's bean with bacon soup still rocks.
-- "Your table will be ready in just a minute'' is one of life's larger false statements.
-- Ten percent off is not a discount. It's not even a decent hook to get you in the door of a business.
-- Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone else who doesn't have it. I just wish I had it.
-- My body is more a ruin than a temple.
-- KWQC-TV, Channel 6, has a new owner. Young Broadcasting (KWQC's old parent company), merged with MediaGeneral. The station is on solid footing.
-- WQAD-TV, Channel 8, is for sale. Local TV LLC -- WQAD's parent company -- recently announced it is for sale. There is no cause for alarm. WQAD is an outstanding station with loads of talent. A sale means nothing other than political season is over and the company doing the selling made a bundle of cash.
-- INN, the Davenport company that provided the original Fox 18 news, was purchased by a similar company out of Orlando, Fla., a few months back. Soon, everything will be based out of Orlando and not Davenport.
-- Rock Island's Bud Benner, the 94-year-old skydiving phenom, recently flew an ultralight aircraft. It was the Challenger II, provided by a generous Ted Wink. Benner had the plane's controls for a few minutes and loved it. Classy move by Wink and friends.
-- The fourth floor/south nurses at UnityPoint's Rock Island campus are saints. Wonderful, patient, caring people, who get that there is more than medicine involved with their job.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
Aledo, IL Details
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