To the best of my knowledge:|
-- An apology note from a neighborhood teen for ding-dong-ditching you the previous night can quickly restore your faith in our youth.
-- The person who invented the automatic toilet timer has a really bad sense of timing.
-- Angrily pressing "End Call'' has nothing on slamming down the phone as we did in the old days.
-- Even a fish stays out of trouble when he keeps his mouth shut (advice shared with me by a group of coffee-drinking geniuses).
-- There are 12 round Tupperware bowls in one cupboard of my home and three square lids. What gives?
-- Best part of waking up from a nap is beginning to plan another one.
-- Yoga pants for men should never be invented. And if they are invented, they should never be worn.
-- I might be in the minority, but I don't get flag shirts. And then there is candy at parades ...
-- National Cemetery at the Rock Island Arsenal is an amazing place.
-- I get that each day is a gift, but I'd like a second opinion on Mondays.
-- The Chicago Cubs are getting better. It pains me to say as much, but they are on the right track.
-- You have a huge holiday celebration in your town, but thanks to great city planning, one of the busiest streets is shut down. Great call, Bettendorf.
-- The Mississippi Valley Blues Fest is a good time. It's more than great music.
-- Everyone should ride the zip line at Modern Woodmen Park. Just don't tell your orthopedic specialist.
-- A 15-minute fireworks display is not worth having little children roam across busy stretches of highway, is it?
-- Procrastination simply is waiting for just the right time.
-- Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.
-- The world needs more doctors such as Moline-based Brian Cady. Wonderful man.
-- There is no such thing as bad barbecue.
-- Save for lima beans, all food is comfort food.
-- We all have that friend who looks like Chewbacca from "Star Wars" when he removes his shirt.
-- The sushi-bar chef attempting to slap scrambled eggs into your mouth can turn the darkest of days bright. Especially on the misses.
-- Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin. And muffins are healthy for you, right?
-- There should be a constitutional amendment outlawing cheap tissues and thin toilet paper.
-- There are a lot of kind and considerate folks in this world. You know who you are. I found out who many of you are recently.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at 309-757-8388 or email@example.com.