Scattered thoughts on 3 a.m. choices, shorthand not always OK, aim for driver's license weight


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Posted Online: Oct. 27, 2013, 7:01 pm
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John Marx, jmarx@qconline.com
To the best of my knowledge:

* If you don't want a woman to find something, just put it in her purse.
* When they offer us "instant credit", don't they mean "instant debt"?
* My fitness goal is to weigh what I put on my new driver's license.
* A group of coffeehouse Einsteins say: "Politicians divide their time between running for office and running for cover.''
* With great power comes a great electric bill.
* The results are in: 3 a.m. is officially the best time to make decisions you'll regret later.
* There should be a constitutional law banning the use of "K'' in a text response instead "OK.'' Is it so hard to put the O in front of the K?
* Another 70 cents lower and a gallon of gas will be where it should cost.
* If you want to shock the clothing store cashier, pay cash. I thought her jaw was going to hit the floor.
* You never want to be stuck at the quiet end of the table at a dinner party. It's like having to eat at the kids' table at Thanksgiving.
* You must never play hide-n-seek with the police.
* The best thing to happen to the Quad City Mallards' franchise is coach Terry Ruskowski.
* As I climb the ladder of the success, the rest of the world is using an escalator.
* My childhood kid's menu featured two choices: Take it or leave it.
* We don't care that Kim and Kanye got engaged or that Bruce Jenner wasn't invited.
* Obamacare ... I got nothin'.
* Happy Wok-SouthPark rocks.
* If the kitchen smells warm and cozy it means I am not in my kitchen.
* Everyone has a friend who thinks they are Google.
* By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
* Speeding-ticket hawking police officers aside, Coal Valley's always happening.
* You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy a boney box from Jim's Rib Haven, a turkey dinner at Diane DeBord's and the Sunday buffet from Adolph's Taco House.
* It's time to save SouthPark Mall or take the shovel and dig its final resting place. There's too much good there for it to just fade into the sunset.
* The genius in charge of all frontage roads on the south side of John Deere Road should have his or her drawing board taken away. You get car dealerships and big box stores to invest in Moline and and make it an off-road obstacle course to get to them.
* All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.
* Someone needs to tell winter I did not get a sufficient fall.
* Taylor Ridge is a town as smooth as a baby's backside.
* People can only take so much road construction at one time.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at 309-757-8388 or Jmarx@qconline.com


















 



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  Today is Wednesday, Oct. 1, the 274th day of 2014. There are 91 days left in the year.

1864 -- 150 years ago: It is rumored in the streets that the 13 negroes sent to Quincy on the Moline quota were refused. We think this must be a mistake.
1889 -- 125 years ago: Harvey McKenna, of Detroit, billiard player matched to play Wizard Schafer in New York in January for the world championship, was a professional friend and manager, Billy Catton in Rock Island.
1914 -- 100 years ago: Levi Cralle, former Rock Island county sheriff, had come from his farm near Mitchell, S.D. to visit friends in the city.
1939 -- 75 years ago: Work is being rushed on the new high school building in Orion to replace the one destroyed by fire last winter. Classes are being held in churches.
1964 -- 50 years ago: Rehearsals for the 84th season of the Handel Oratorio Society chorus will begin at 7:30 p.m. Monday on the stage of Centennial Hall, Augustana College.
1989 -- 25 years ago: The Rock Island City Council's plan announced this week to have the federal government vacate Valley Homes public housing and move residents to Arsenal Courts to reduce density may not be feasible.






(More History)