Posted Online: Jan. 10, 2013, 11:37 pm
Here's a tip: Be Bueller, be Superman or be yourself
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By John Marx, email@example.com
To the best of my knowledge:
-- Fun is going to an eatery that asks your name so it can be called when your food is ready, and giving the name "Bueller.'' Of course, you don't answer on the first call.Yes, sophomoric, but still fun.
-- Unless you can be Superman, it's best to be yourself. No other superheroes are worth the time.
-- Voting for Baseball Hall of Fame candidates should be done by Hall of Fame players, not sportswriters who feel it's their duty to be judge and jury. Let worthy eligibles be judged by those who know.
-- Brent Musberger -- and I am not a fan of his -- did NOTHING wrong. ESPN (Big Brother) needs to step off its high horse and relax. Musberger did not step over the line when he gushed over Miss Alabama, Katherine Webb, who is gorgeous and the girlfriend of 'Bama quarterback A.J. McCarron. He was right on all accounts, including quarterbacks getting all the pretty girls.
-- "We changed the menu'' means "We have raised the prices.''
-- I always get the last word. Who cares if my wife can't hear it?
-- The flu will make you make strange promises to whoever is listening while you're wandering through the house in the middle of the night. It will leave you on the floor in the fetal position watching "Happy Days" reruns at 2 in the afternoon, begging for a fever break. I have not ached like that in 25 years. The only consolation was falling asleep in the first quarter of the BCS Championship game.
-- Scones are biscuits with an ego and about as tasty as rocks.
-- The snowthrower I received for Christmas is a gorgeous ornament for the garage. I can live with it staying there, being on-call and looking good.
-- Life has taken a strange twist when one of your vacation goals is that your bags are first off the luggage belt. I'll be happy with them just making it to the belt.
-- For nine years, we complained about the Bears' Lovie Smith and his leadership, then we felt sorry for him when he was fired.
-- The late Donna Poston was one of the nicest people I knew. She fixed all of my banking messes for many years. She will be missed.
-- Rock Island's Audrey Burton, who passed recently, was a wonderful wife, mom and role model. She never missed a trick -- no matter how much many of us believed as teenagers that she did. She knew what was what.
-- Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or firstname.lastname@example.org.