Posted Online: Feb. 05, 2013, 5:24 pm
Sorry, Clair -- and thanks for being a good sport
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By John Marx, email@example.com
To the best of my knowledge:
-- I did not refer to John Deere Classic chairman Clair Peterson as chairwoman in my Monday column. There was a mix-up down the line. That said, it happened with my face next to it -- in my allotted space. It's on me. Thanks for all the emails, phone calls and Facebook messages confirming Mr. Peterson is a man. And thanks to Mr. Peterson for being a great sport about the mistake.
-- The world would be a better place if we all wore flight attendant uniforms and wings.
-- You need a boost in life if your day can be saved by a pair of lucky sweatpants.
-- Nine-year-olds burping the name of the president and the vice president constitutes a civics lesson, right?
-- Proving you can slice-'n'-dice a Super Bowl party pineapple goes hand in hand with the doctor proving he can stitch the space between your thumb and fingers.
-- It doesn't matter how close the miss is, it's still a miss.
-- A 50-cent rise in the price of gas over 10 days is gouging.
-- Beyonce should sing more, dance less and continue to hang out with Destiny's Child.
-- Sadly, the world refuses to tire of Jimmy Kimmel, Kim Kardashian and paying millions for a silly Super Bowl ad. Not necessarily in that order.
-- The best part of the Super Bowl (the game, not the experience) was after the blackout. Thanks to whoever told the hamsters to stop running on the wheels.
-- It's time for some folks to focus on something besides the size of the first lady of the United States' backside. Seriously, who cares? I don't agree with her husband much, but she has been a great advocate for a number of fitness causes in her time in the White House. She's in better physical condition than most Americans and deserves a little "backside'' respect.
-- My Top 5 other things about the Super Bowl were:
1. CBS announcer Jim Nantz not giving up the microphone to that phony Ray Lewis in the post-game interview. And does Lewis wear eye-black to bed?
2. The Go Daddy.Com commercial. Sick? Yep. But it proves there is hope for all of us.
3. Paul Harvery's "Farmer Salute'' for the the Dodge truck.
4. Joe Flacco beating Andrew Luck, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Colin Kaepernick in successive weeks.
5. Michael Oher, the subject of the movie "The Blind Side,'' winning a Super Bowl (he's an offensive tackle for the Ravens).
-- I have been fortunate to coach with many wonderful people through the years. Terry Stephens is one of them. Terry has stage 4 urethra carcinoma, which has settled in his left kidney. There will be a pancake breakfast, "Pitch in for Coach Terry,'' from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 24. The benefit will be held at Huckleberry's, 223 18th St., Rock Island.
Columnist John Marx can be reached at (309) 757-8388 or firstname.lastname@example.org.