Posted Online: Feb. 23, 2013, 6:00 am
A conspiracy of meteoric proportions
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By Peter Costa
There is nothing like an unexpected meteor striking the former Soviet Union to ignite Cold War conspiracy theorists.
Was the meteor actually an ICBM launched by a small group of rogue Maoists?
Was the "meteor" in reality space debris from the Strategic Defense Initiative proposed by Ronald Reagan in his famous "Star Wars" speech in 1983? (Reagan clamed the US already had the capability by using space-borne lasers and other exotic devices to shoot down anything launched by anyone anywhere.)
Speaking of unexplained US space mysteries, the UFO conspiracy theorists could claim that the meteor that hit Russia was actually the landing of a second spaceship by extraterrestrials like the ones that already have landed at Area 51 in Roswell. No terrestrial power has the technology to launch a missile from Nevada that could hit Russia at 33,000 miles per hour in such a short period of seconds.
Furthermore, the meteor was powered by a gasoline engine that gets 82,000 miles per gallon and was developed aboard the USS Glomar Explorer research vessel built by Howard Hughes.
Some conspiracy theorists believe the meteor over Russia was an attempt to divert radar and to allow the larger asteroid behind it to smuggle alien cultures into Sun Dance, Ariz., to harvest the hallucinogenic mushrooms grown only in this one spot in the universe. (Peace and love, brothers and sisters from the cosmos.)
Others blame Nancy Pelosi for the whole thing. Fronting for President Obama, the Minority Leader of the House may be sending a little message to Republicans who used the filibuster to block nomination of former Republican Chuck Hagel as head of the Defense Department.
Also, don't you think it strange that if you back-plot the orbit of the meteor that it has its origin at Graceland? Elvis has really left the building this time. Thank you, thank you very much.
Peter Costa is a columnist for GateHouse Media. His latest book is a novel, “The Priest’s Gamble.”